Woodline

"I didn’t want to hold on to the past. I forgave them."

By Students of NYC

March 15^th, 2024

"I speak five languages. Creole, French, Portuguese, Spanish and now English. I come from Haiti, but I’ve lived in many places. In my early life, I was more shy. Even sitting right now, talking, I would be trembling. But my experience in traveling has changed me. Now, I feel more free.

It is hard moving to a new place when the people there don't really love where you came from. I heard a lot of racist words toward me in my travels. When I was twelve, I moved from Haiti to Brazil with my family and I couldn't find many other Haitian people, especially in my middle school. My first day was horrible. The children would treat me badly. They would tell me, 'Go to your country. You’re not from here. You can’t even speak the language.' I couldn’t make friends. Sometimes I’d make a friend, but it would only be for one or two days. They didn’t have the patience because every time they talked to me, they’d need a translator. I was so alone. I thought, I need to learn this language. I can’t understand what the teacher is teaching. The other students are talking about me, and I can’t understand what they are saying. So I started to read more, even though I didn’t know what I was reading. I would take pictures on my phone and then translate it. The words that were difficult for me, I would put in the translator and play them out loud to hear how to pronounce them. And with time, I became not just the only Haitian girl, but the only Haitian girl with good grades. The children that were bullying me started coming to talk to me. They knew they should apologize, but they just forgot about it. So I forgot about it too. I didn’t want to hold on to the past. I forgave them. Some of them began to come to me and ask me for help with their homework, and I'd help them. Then, a teacher asked me to do a performance in front of the whole school. Some kids thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but I showed them. When I finished the performance, all of them clapped.

My time in Brazil taught me that people support you when you have something, not when you don't. Me, I want to be the opposite for others. I don’t want the newcomer students here at Clara Barton to feel what I felt. When I know a student just came here, I ask them what language they speak. If I see them struggling with something, I ask, 'Can I help?' If I'm able to translate for them, I do that too. And I tell them: Don’t be afraid. Don't be afraid to be who you are. Don't be afraid to speak. I think they are sometimes afraid that their pronunciation isn’t going to be good, or that people will laugh at them. But I tell them, don’t worry about pronunciation, or that someone will laugh. People will understand you. Just try. It is important to speak, to let what is inside you, out.

I will never forget my first class when I came here — Ms. Leston’s class. I sat there and thought, what am I going to say in English? I don’t even know the language. Then I heard her speaking Spanish with another student, and I said, 'oh, thank goodness. That’s lucky for me.' I walked up to her and said in Spanish, I don’t really speak English, when you are talking to me, please can you speak in Spanish? Ms. Leston — she is a good teacher. She did so much for me my first year that it's hard to describe. She really, really helped me. She is also my English teacher, and with her, that’s why I’m doing my best and learning English right now. As a language, English is a little harder, but with time I’m going to be great."