Lanayeza

"My passion is a literal battery pack."

By Students of NYC

January 30^th, 2026

"When I was in 5th grade, I thought I could sing. I tried out for 'Hamilton' and I got in. My song was 'Satisfied' — the rap version. For three weeks straight, I was in my house listening to the songs over and over again. Not even just the song — parodies. I was so excited. My childhood is really gappy. There’s a lot of things I don’t like to remember. I don’t think I was the best kid in elementary school. I went to a charter school. One year, I was suspended 58 times. My mom was trying to finish college, but she couldn’t, so she had to work. I had to go live with my grandmother, and so many other kids lived there with her. There was so much going on. I remember it so well — just singing those songs day in and day out. That play, those songs became my life. And when the day of the performance came, I got suspended again. I had to watch from the crowd.

I've always been a passionate person. When I put my passion into something, I really focus on it. Passion makes life harder sometimes, because you don’t just care a little — you care with everything. And that also means I feel everything deeply. I overthink a lot. I’d make friends and then start thinking, She doesn’t like you. That’s not your friend. She’s doing something behind your back. Even when they were the realest people in my life. I’d do things to push people out and pull them in at the same time. Overthinking didn’t ruin the relationships — it ruined how I felt inside them. I overplay my part. So I start wondering why other people aren’t playing theirs. I’ve had to learn to protect myself. To block things out. To stay in my bubble sometimes. Not because I don’t care — but because I care too much. And if I don’t, it becomes like bleeding in front of a shark. You’re open. You’re raw. You give everything, and you don’t know where the other person stands.

I never stopped listening to that 'Hamilton' music, even for the past seven years. That play — it’s so different. Inspiring. But the crazy part is: what Lin Manuel Miranda planned to do with it ... he really did. Who really thinks about that? And believes they can make it happen? A rap about Alexander Hamilton? It’s so creative. And with a majority people of color. It gives us a chance. Passion can make you take something so seriously and put in the work to make even a wild idea become something. Something that such a big wide umbrella of people love. People from all different places and backgrounds who think they have nothing in common — suddenly they are singing together, laughing together, dancing together. That’s a result of passion.

For a long time I felt like the worst part about myself was my passion. I’ve learned from Ms. T to be more comfortable with the person I am. She made me realize that the passion and the fire don't hurt me, they set me apart. I’m just overflowing with so much. I can give so much love to so many people who need it. My passion is a literal battery pack. Without it, I wouldn’t be as connected with myself. The people in my life, like Ms. T, wouldn’t see me as clearly and want to help me succeed.

When something's going on, I carry it all on my back. You're going to see it. You're going to see it on my face. You're going to see it in the way I'm acting. You're going to see it in the way I present myself. I try not to focus on what's happening in the world. Not because I don’t care, but because I don’t like seeing it. When I start thinking about bigger things — big, worldly things — I take those bigger things and I press them onto the little things that are happening in my personal life. And then everything feels heavier. I try not to pull all those bigger issues into my head, because I know where it takes me. I know it’s going to turn into overthinking, and overthinking turns into negativity. And when you have a negative mindset, it pinpoints into your real life. Manifestation is real. You think negative things, negative things start happening. And then you can’t enjoy life or move through it the way you’re supposed to. Soon, I’ll be out in the world, out of high school. Part of me has always had a foot in that door. Like part of me has always been in a big world. But putting both those feet out — that feels scary. I don't know where I want to take my life. I don't really know a lot about what I really want to do for my future. So it kind of does put an abrupt fear in my heart, but I know that I'm going to be okay and I'm going to be fine. Eventually I will find that thing that’s my calling. I'm going to make it."