Raymond

"I don't think there's anyone for whom being happy is easy."

By Students of NYC

June 26^th, 2023

Hybrid school really drained me. It just felt fake — didn’t feel right. I gave up and made a pact to fix it. I ended up having to come back full force and make up for a lot of lost time. It was a lot of work. A lot of work. P.M. school. Saturday school, full class flow, full schedules. I am almost finished now and will graduate with my diploma and a cosmetology license.

We did a four-week workshop with my teacher, Dr. Georges, for beauty care on the homeless population. The first session was facials. I worked on this little girl, and I thought I might irritate her face, but I didn’t. She didn’t say much, but then each time she came back, we were paired up. And I could tell she got more comfortable with me, even though we didn’t really talk. The third session, when I did her nails, she said hi.

I didn’t wonder about her situation while I worked on her. I didn’t need to know — I just tried to do a good job.

There’s a certain mindset: If you look good, you feel good. I believe in that to an extent. But I do think you need to learn to accept yourself too. It’s a process, learning to really, I guess, love yourself. I don’t think there is anyone for which being happy is easy.

When quarantine ended, I started to take walks.

Before and after school, every day. Six, seven miles. That’s just an estimate — sometimes I walked more, sometimes less. Once, I walked the entirety of Manhattan. Walking alone has its own benefits. It’s like I get to be alone with myself, which I honestly kind of enjoy. Being in my own head, going back through old memories, or thinking, talking to myself about certain issues and arguing over what choices I should make.

The walks are not always perfect. But they’re always memorable. Once, I saw a guy dressed in a full rabbit costume in the middle of the summer. And I’ve seen some beautiful things. Once, when there was an absolute downpour, I walked through it just looking at the trees around the park and how quiet it was behind the sounds of the rain. It was kind of like this chaos within the calm. A metaphor for most of my life, if it’s a metaphor for anything.

I started helping others as a way to forgive myself. But now, it’s something I realize I actually enjoy. We do these wellness Saturday events. Dr. Georges sets them up at a park, and we have people come and we do workshops for them. I led a wig workshop. I taught people who came how to glue the tracks. Not too long, just going from ear to ear around the neck. Then you do the forehead area, and then you do the closing circles on top, and finish the closure. Then you style the wig, which I think is the hardest part. The people get to take the wigs home that they make with us. Lately I have been opening up more. I wouldn’t say I’ve made friends, but I’ve connected with some of the people who I teach.

I don’t usually ask people their names. But I do try to pay attention to who they are.

Are they more quiet? More nervous? More open? Are they calm? You know, stuff like that.

Dr. Georges will tell you I’m the first one to each event and the last one to leave. But honestly, the reason I do that is because of her. I watch her. Like how she goes about working and hustling and helping — doing work that she doesn't necessarily get paid for. I think she gets paid in the sense of, you know, like a good feeling. I admire her. She’s a go-getter. I feel like I’m always observing her, because when it comes to proper examples, she is prime. It’s hard to find words when describing somebody that great. She just knows what to do and how to do it. But she’s patient. She sits with you personally if you’re not doing well.