Lily

"The way I look, the way I talk, the way I stand, the way I uphold myself. Somebody needs that. I need that."

By Students of NYC

February 15^th, 2025

"When I came in 9th grade, I was very timid and shy. I didn’t know how beautiful I was. The negative things people said about me — I would voice those negative opinions to myself. I needed braces, and I didn’t know how to do my hair. I had dealt with so much at home. Things weren’t good with my mom. School was supposed to be my safe haven, and other kids making fun of me — destroying me little by little — it felt like I had nowhere else to go. One day, things got so overwhelming. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I know it was the tipping point. It wasn’t just about being bullied — I had dealt with so much in my past that it was just the icing on the cake. I felt like nobody understood me. Like nobody wanted me anywhere. I felt so alone. I wanted to run out of school, but I didn’t want to get in trouble. So I went and hid under the school staircase and cried. I think a safety agent saw me, and she must have gotten Ms. Lorenda, our school social worker. I had never talked to her before, but she came and she sat down next to me under the staircase. I was sobbing too hard to get any words out. But she was there, comforting me. She was letting me know that I’m okay, that I’m beautiful, and that this was going to pass. And it did pass. It did. I am just so glad I met her. That day under the stairs was such a turning point for me. I was going through so much. I can honestly say I don't think I'd be here talking to you right now if I never met Ms. Lorenda. She literally changed the trajectory of my life.

Since then, I’ve moved from living with my mom. Recently, me and my little brother were going somewhere and my mom was walking in the opposite direction. She saw us and she kept walking. Didn’t want to talk to us, look at us, nothing. But it’s okay, honestly. My brother and I live with our foster family. He’s 15 and goes to this school. He’s adorable — he doesn’t know it, but I tell him all the time. Lately, his grades are skyrocketing. He’s setting short-term goals. I am setting an example for him, and he’s following it. I’m so grateful for that.

I'm a restorative justice peer mediator. If there’s a conflict between students in the school, we have sit-downs. I like to hear both sides of a story. Empathy is important. It’s important to listen to people and understand what they are going through. Other people may not have that. I didn’t have that. Hearing stories from different perspectives helps you to see where people are coming from, why they act the way they act, and what they want. I want to be a counselor when I grow up. I want to be a school social worker, actually, so I can help kids like Ms. Lorenda helped me.

Today, I feel like I’m really beautiful. Sometimes, I still compare myself to other people, but then I’m like — if I was that person I'm comparing myself to, who would be me? I need me. The way I look, the way I talk, the way I stand, the way I uphold myself. Somebody needs that. I need that. I am literally gorgeous in so many ways. In 9th grade, I would never be able to say that. But I can say it now, because it’s true."