Kirsten

"I started to look at myself and think: I am really her."

By Students of NYC

December 15^th, 2023

"Growing up, I was always the shy girl. During presentations, I was always shaky and couldn’t speak up in front of the class. They say sometimes a fear manifests in your stomach; that’s where I’d always feel it. I was scared to make new friends, to try new things. I was filled with self-doubt. But when I first started YouTube, it's like I started to become more confident. It started with tutorials. I would make hair tutorials — because I watched them when I was young to help me with my hair. At first I did it for fun, but as more people started watching, I got more serious about it. Sometimes, I would even pretend I was talking to the camera throughout the day in the mirror. It became a habit.

I remember when my first video got 1,000 views. It was shocking. It was on how to do a sleek bun and edges. A middle-part back bun. And a lot of girls, Black girls specifically, struggle to accept their natural hair and really know how to style it. Then it was at 5,000. I couldn’t believe it — and it kept going up. Eventually, it got to 20,000, and that’s when I realized this could really be something. I started to look at myself and think: I am really her.

When I chose to come to High School for Fashion Studies, one of my goals was to be farther from home. I live in Canarsie, and I wanted to be in Manhattan. It was a way for me to be independent. I take a bus and two trains to get here; it takes about an hour and change. The bus isn’t so bad, sometimes it comes quickly. Sometimes, it takes longer. Every morning when I’m on the L train and we are underground passing from Bedford to First Avenue, from Brooklyn into Manhattan, I can feel my independence. And it feels good.

When I first became a freshman, I did a middle school advice video. I posted a question box for younger middle schools to submit questions, and I answered them as best I could. I like to be a source of comfort for people. That person people go to to motivate them. Because honestly, not everybody has someone in their life they can go to and get advice from. Sure, it would be cool to become a celebrity, but that isn't really my dream. No matter how big my channel gets, I want to make connections with people. To support them, and let them know they aren’t alone."