Alvanelis

"I dream of being able to take pictures, like a photographer."

By Students of NYC

November 15^th, 2024

"I have a learning disability. For me, processing words is difficult when I try to read, and it does make things a little bit complicated, but I like learning how to work with it. I’m a person who likes to learn what they don’t know. Growing up, I didn’t have many friends. Teachers had to put me on the side and give me different work. Kids can be a little mean; I would try to make friends, but they saw I was doing something different, or I would be in a smaller class and they would be in a bigger class. They would say that if they hung out with me they would start having issues reading too. Like I was contagious.

It feels like I’m holding a bunch of words that have so many rules and when I look at them, I’m overwhelmed. I can see them, but I can't process them. And English isn’t my first language, which makes it harder. I watch people who read books, like my cousins or my classmates, and I always want to know what it feels like to be able to just escape into a book. I would ask my cousins, what does it feel like? To just have that excitement of being able to experience the characters' feelings and hear what they say? To be in that other world?

I dream of being able to take pictures, like a photographer. I’m saving up for a camera right now. I want to learn how to make a photograph have feelings, you know? Like to be able to look at that picture and understand who that person is. Sometimes I’ll be walking or looking out the car window and see my creativity all over the place. Having a camera so I can carry it all around and take pictures wherever I go — that will honestly be so cool. I’d feel so happy because I could express myself that way. Words, sometimes, I’m just not very good at them. I get very emotional. I think with pictures I can show another person what I’m feeling at the moment or what I’m thinking about. So many things go through my head, because I’m an over-thinker, and I cannot say it all at once. As a person that thinks so much and worries about every little single thing, I just want to rest. I want to learn how to speak more with my heart than my head — to show what I want to show. Even right now, just thinking about taking a picture, and catching the moment, it makes me so happy.

I don’t want to give up. Since I was little, people have doubted me. I believe that if I keep working hard at something though, I will get there. Like, when I'm older, I want to be an interior designer. Because for me, growing up, I always used to find places in my house after a long day of school. All day I'd be just sitting and thinking about that spot that is waiting for me at home, a corner or something. A little spot to feel so comfortable with myself and be in my own presence. So giving that to other people, I think that would be really special. To help other people feel comfortable in their space, I think that's beautiful."